How I Proposed And Made April My Bride

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In November of 2016 April and I started discussing a future together which at that time was full of plans for Denver Comic Con and all the movies we had to watch together.  Marriage was on the table, but I had convinced her that we needed to go camping first before we seriously considered combining our forces for good.

But after spending Christmas together, I knew that even if she hated camping, I didn’t want to spend my life without her.  I kept talking about camping and as April still hasn’t spent the night under God’s amazing stars, I kept telling her we needed to camp so that we could see if we were really meant to be together.  Fortunately for me and probably for her too, this was just a lie to keep her on her toes.  Like I was going to ghost on her, (a term here meaning vanish for no good reason) after our first failed camping experience.

Instead I was planning a proposal.

First, I had to convince her to go to the Wonderful World of Disney and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter with me for my birthday. That didn’t take much convincing because she too loves theme parks.

Next, I had to ask for her father’s blessing and make sure she didn’t have a clue I was meeting with her dad.  Luck was on my side when one night she left her phone at my house and  I was able to snag her dad’s number.  I texted him right away.  We met for breakfast and with my broken Spanish I asked for his blessing.  He said yes.

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Later the same day I met my parents at the ring store and picked out the diamond. For the next two weeks I finally came to understand what it feels like to hold a secret and have it burn a hole in my pocket.

Finally, I was able to convince a friend of mine to join me at Harry Potter World to take pictures of the proposal. The only day he could do it was February 17th, my birthday and the day I had planned on proposing.  Now, all I had to do was show up at the park on February 17th.

But when good things are happening there is resistance. We had set backs along the way, mostly with getting to California and the Harry Potter World.  Travelocity messed up our tickets and my boss didn’t want to approve my time off.  After five hours on the phone with Travelocity in which both our tickets were nearly canceled due to the stupidity of our agent, I felt like giving up.

Maybe God didn’t want me to go to California.  What if this was a sign from him that my trip wasn’t a good idea, and then I was told by my boss I had to be at a meeting for work on my birthday.

God gave me the word of joy at the start of the year and I have felt him tell me that I would need to fight for it.  So I fought through these challenges, and requested time off from my boss for my birthday.  I was able secure the time off so April could take me to California over President’s Day Weekend.

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As easy as it would have been to give up on a grand proposal and believe that it was not meant to be due to all of the resistance, I chose to fight for joy anyway.  I did not give up when the travel agent messed up our tickets, nor when I got in an accident on my way home from work on the night of our flight.  It was a fight getting to the airport and once we were in the terminal the fight didn’t stop.  The flight was over booked and offering 500 dollars to wait until the next day.  That money would have been amazing, especially with my smashed up car I had just left behind at my house.  I could tell April wanted to wait, but I felt God give me the strength to say no and to trust him, his plan for me was to fly off to California and like Van Gogh said, start a good thing.  I had to say no to the money and we flew off to California.

Once we arrived in California, tropical storm Lucifer did all it could to steal our joy.

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Later that night my phone would die due to the amount of rain from the storm

 

Trusting God, I chose to find joy anyway, which meant no matter how long April took on the homework she decided to do right before leaving for the park (She had no idea I was proposing, so her procrastination on her homework is slightly excusable, even though it was my birthday and she could have skipped it as it was a ten point assignment or how hard it was raining once we reached Universal Studios). I was going to have fun because I knew God was for me, he wanted me to propose.

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I was a nervous wreck. I had written my proposal the night before and as we drove to the park, I kept reading over what I was going to say. At lunch in “The Three Broomsticks” I prayed the rain would stop. It didn’t.

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As we finished our food, I gave a lame excuse about needing to run off to the restroom. I dashed outside and basically swam to a prearranged location (Moaning Myrtle’s Restroom in Hogsmeade) to meet my friend who was already there to take pictures. We ran through the plan and he showed me the best location for pictures; right outside in the rain.

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After having him repeat where he wanted us, I waded my way back inside and convinced April that I needed to show her the best view of the Hogwarts castle. It was a miracle she followed me into the rain.

I took off her hood to her rain coat and proposed! We were too love-struck to feel the rain anymore.

Okay, that is not true. It was raining so hard that my handwritten proposal was hard to hold onto. But April waited patiently as I drew out a wand.

Next, April freaked out when I pulled a copy of Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince from my back pack.

“It will get wet!” she said.

To focused to care, I opened the book and dropped to one knee.

“Will you make an unbreakable vow with me?” I asked. Before she could respond I looked down at the opened book where the ring was hanging on a ribbon. However, it was raining so hard that the ring was blown off the page, out of sight. I scrambled to move it back and I said, “April Inez Hernandez, I love you. Will you marry me?”

She did not ghost me. She did not bench me. She did not bread crumb me, but she said without any hesitancy, “Yes I will!”

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Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny: How I Chose To Love My Bride

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Our first date didn’t end with the kiss. It ended with April rescuing me!  After saying goodbye I jumped into my car and started to drive off only to have my gas run out two feet outside my parking spot.  It was past 10 pm and all the gas stations near the theater were closed.  My cell phone had only five percent of its battery left so April picking up on the first call was a miracle.  Without a moment of hesitation she turned around, picked me up, and drove me home so I could grab up a gas can.  Patiently she took me back to my car, helped make sure it would start, and finally followed me home, making sure I was safe.

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Looking back I am shocked it took my heart so long to open up. But, can you blame me, I had been show-goggled (a term here meaning the attraction lessens or increases based on the types of tv shows you watch like when a girl broke up with me because I didn’t like the show Friends), so I was being extra cautious. But April is kind and gracious and is definitely not petty.  Never has she held it against me that I ran my car out of gas on our first day nor that I have different opines on television or that I know that Harry Potter does not belong with Ron’s main squeeze Hermione Granger.

If you haven’t read any Harry Potter, all you need to know is that JK Rowling was able to create a world with super lovable and relatable characters.

As long as I can remember, I have always connected with the side kicks or the best friends in stories and TV shows; even though I would rather be the hero. I see parts of Harry Potter in myself, but when forced to choose a character I completely relate with, it would have to be the best friend, Ron.

Ron Weasley holds a special place in my heart because he too is the sidekick and is constantly given the hand-me-downs.

Maybe that is why my first major fight with April was over fictional charactersI was so adamant that Ron land Hermione as she is no hand-me-down.

I am firmly on team Harry and Ginny as well as team Ron and Hermione. April wants Harry Potter and Hermione Granger to end up together because she sees them as the two leads and thus believes they are destined to be together.

She told me that she thought Ron and Hermione argued to much and that if Hermione wasn’t to be with Harry she should at least be with Malfoy, a horrible bully. At hearing this, I was furious.

We are still arguing over this, but along the way, I realized, much like Ron does in the sixth and seventh books, that it is not important to always be right, but it is better to love and be loved. And my love is best when it is given away freely in sacrifice of my own pride.

This argument over the love lives of two fiction characters will not end us.

April was patient and courageous in her own way. She read all of my favorite books and even went hiking with me! She didn’t even run in fear when we heard a mountain lion as we hiked through the Colorado Hogback. Yet her real act of courage came in July after months of dating when she said, “I love you!”

I freaked out. I was convinced that I didn’t deserve something so wonderful, yet I couldn’t bench her (a term that means place the person you are dating to the side so you can check out other options), neither could I friend-zone her.

God kept telling me to be patient but something wasn’t right. I wasn’t being the leader I God had called me to be, nor was I communicating my feelings. Our relationship was more like Ron and Hermione’s than Harry and Ginny’s, meaning it was full of tension. I broke up with her believing tension meant I should move on, but that if she truly was Hermione and I was Ron, then our friendship would last, but it would be nothing more.

I broke up with her after a night out at the movies and through our breakup I learned that I loved April not because she was the same as me, but because she stood up for herself and was confident in her own beautiful unique self.

The night of our break up, as soon as I started communicating my feelings April listened and communicated her own desires. She told me that she did not want to only be my friend and reaffirmed that she loved me. When she told me this, I realized that she was my best friend and that I wanted to work through the rough patches with her.

I realized that when you really love someone, you work through the tension. After four days of crying, I asked her to meet me for coffee and said, “You’re my best friend and I love you.”

April is a die hard Harry Potter fan, but not like I am. She has her own opinions and that is what makes her so lovable. I am learning to love someone who is unlike me. April is not someone I am just with because she is like me and makes me feel better about myself, but she has become the someone I am with because she makes me a better person. She does this because she teaches me to love someone other than myself and unlike me.

In that moment when I told April I loved her too, April showed me true grace.

We’ve been at each others’ sides ever since! But this time with a purpose. Marriage!

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How I Met My Bride or Choosing Joy

View More: http://ketphotography.pass.us/brendan-and-april-engagementsWhat would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?

Online dating is a world of wonder. New terms have come from this world such as ghosted, bread crumbed, benched, haunted, and show goggled. And yes, all of these have happened to me. But if they hadn’t, I would never have met April.

It is amazing that I found someone so wonderful, considering she could have acted out any of those negative dating terms listed above. During my own dating journey I decided no matter what I would choose joy and be open to all that God has for me. So even though I was frustrated with being single and feeling at times like I was not worth noticing, I decided to trust that God had someone for me.

April popped into my life unexpectedly in February of 2016. I was a mess. In September of 2015 I nearly died of pneumonia and just six months later I was still reeling. So when she sent me a simple message I didn’t know what I was doing. But I did know I wanted to choose joy and trust God. So I messaged her back and little did I know how much that little decision would change my life. Van Gogh said, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.

Her sweet little message asking about my trip to Harry Potter World started a great thing. April is the most genuine woman I know and that beautiful characteristic bled through her first message. I didn’t want to bread crumb her (a term here meaning string her along with tidbits of information about myself, but no real desire of actual an actual date) so when she asked me for my phone number I gave it to her without hesitation. Then with the kind of courage reserved for the most genuine or crazy man ever, I asked her out after just a week of messaging back and forth.

February is a crazy time to go on a first date. My birthday is February 17th and I was hesitant to ask April out because I didn’t want to make her think I just wanted her to give me a birthday gift. But then I knew if I waited until after my birthday she might decide to ghost on me.

February is also crazy because it is host to Valentine’s Day. When I decided to be courageous and stop worrying about going on a date super close to my birthday, it was the 14th of February. I sent April a simple text asking her if she wanted to meet and go see a movie. I explained that I knew it was Valentine’s Day, but that I thought it would be fun and we could make it super casual. She replied back shortly after with a yes!

That evening, after watching The Walking Dead I told my parents I was going to meet a friend for a movie which was code for I am going on a date and I don’t want to tell you that I am doing so. We met at the AMC near my house which turns out is quite a drive for her.

The movie was Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and I should have known then that she wasn’t just after my brains, but she was after my heart as well.

I am so glad that I chose to find joy in all things and did not shy away from a date on Valentine’s Day. But the most courageous act I committed was hugging her after the movie. The hug lasted a little longer than we expected and so did the kiss.