Do not be anxious about anything, but pray and be thankful.- Philippians 4:6 Yeah, but what about my life? Last week after I posted about needing to open up about my sleep problems I was attacked by two straight nights of anxiety filled sleep.
Yay, time to practice all the advice I gave out (I am not sure you can sense my sarcasm). After midnight, my mind doesn’t want to think logically. It just wants to sleep so when my heart feels the flames of fear and my brain begins to bounce back and fourth from one thought to another, it has taken practice to slow myself down. But I took a breath and remembered all of the times God has provided for me in times of turmoil.
I am learning to breathe in and think of beautiful things. Breathe out and release my fear. Beauty beats anxiety.
The world we live in is beautiful. No I am not naive, I know of pain and suffering, but even in the darkest of times God’s beauty abounds.
Two weeks ago April and I traveled up to Breckenridge to go aspen leaf peeping. The beauty of Breckenridge in the fall is astounding. As we drove up Boreas Pass I was reflecting on the last year and all my sleep struggles. The previous year when we came up to Breckenridge my sleep was an absolute mess and I had hoped that a little time away would fix it. It didn’t. But the beauty of the aspens left needing to catch my breath. When aspen leaves rustle in the wind, I am not sure there is a more calming sound.
Aspens are amazing in how they are all one organism so that each tree supports the collective whole. Every year aspens cycle through life. In the spring they start to bud new leaves that turn deep great through the next couple months of summer. In the fall they made their most drastic change when the leaves change from green to gold, red, and yellow only to fall off by winter time. All winter aspens are bare, but then they are reborn in the spring. This happens every year. God takes care of his creation.
Driving over Boreas Pass God took me up into his beauty and reminded me that if he cares that much to create a beautiful tree he also cares for me. On our way down to Como, on the other side of the pass, April and I parked our car and walked down into a grove of aspens. Standing under the rustling leaves I felt Jesus was next to me saying, “look out over the aspens and don’t be anxious. Don’t worry about if you sleep well or if work goes well. Aspens don’t work, they are fed by me. If I cloth the aspens in such beauty, don’t you think I will take care of you too?”
He cares about beauty and goodness. So I whatever is good and beautiful, think on those things. When I am struggling to sleep, I’ve started to think about the beautiful aspens up in the mountains. Remembering that God has provided for me in the past and he will provide for me in the future.
He has sent me on beautiful adventures, both big and small so when my brain boiled with fear this week I decided to remember the beauty of Boreas Pass and how God loves me more than aspen trees. Because of that I know that the best is yet to come.