I pooped my pants. Not today, not this last week, and not even while I’ve been in Guatemala, at least not this time. I pooped my pants a couple of years ago while I was skiing in Vail. I was on my way down the mountain and only made it as fare as mid Vail. Some of you know this story. It is pretty funny and has always gotten some good laughs. Well, I decided to share this story to my middle schoolers during chapel. I thought it would be a good ice breaker. I thought this was a good story for them to connect to me with. I mean everyone poops.
Well, as I wrapped up my story. One of the eighth graders shot his hand into the air. I thought he was going to ask a question. He had something else planned. “Yes,” I said acknowledging his raised hand. “Well, this last week I peed my pants,” he said. I told him I had heard about that, and tried to save him from divulging further detail. He didn’t stop. “I had to go real bad and I got ‘it’ stuck in my zipper. I couldn’t get it out and so I started to flip it around and I ended up peeing all over my pants.” No shame. I was laughing hard at this point. The other teachers rushed out of chapel crying laughter. I couldn’t leave because I was in charge. “Okay,” I said calmly after I’d taken a deep breath, ” yeah, I’d heard that.” I was trying to move into my talk, but he continued. “I got it cut on my zipper,” just like this has happened to every man, which is a false assumption. His friend replied, “And he had to get a band aid.” Simple pandaemonium. Boys and girls rolling on the floor with laughter. If I’d wanted an icebreaker I’m pretty sure a glacier had just broken free.
I gave the students about a minute to laugh it out then told them to regroup. This worked rather well. Then I smoothly moved into my talk about how to be a lover in a dangerous time. We’ve been sharing how to fit our lives stories into God’s greater story, even our poop and pee stories. I think that the rest of my talk went well, but I don’t think anything will top the self admitted peeing of the pants. The kids at this school are amazing. That is all I have to say. If you want to know more about my own poop story or about what I talked about during chapel let me know and I’ll see what I can do.