Christmas – Adventure With Brendan

How My Year of Becoming Was A Mess

January 1, 2022Brendan Scott

2021 is wrapping up and I’d say its been a messy one. Diapers are messy! Being a dad is messy! And I love it!

This year has been my year of becoming. For me the idea of becoming is one of letting go of perfection and being okay with the process of life. As I wrote at the end of 2020, I am under construction. I think if I am becoming, I need to be okay with the mess.

Maybe Sofia is in on this life lesson. April and I had all the plans the world to have her four month picture taken in some of her cutest Christmas clothes, but each time we put her in them, she would have a massive blowout. Sofia is a four month old who is learning how to live so I would I not be okay with her having a blowout or two or 50? Also, her smile as we changed her diaper just makes me love her more.

On January first, 2021 I became a dog parent again. On January first April and I brought Phoenix into our house. After bringing Gryffin into our lives in 2020, we decided a puppy brother would be the best thing for him and us. Well, Phoenix is a crazy kid who lives life at two speeds tornado and cuddle. Phoenix is still a puppy and his excitement for life is contagious. But with two dogs, we can’t seem to clean up the messes they leave behind. I can either choose to love my dogs or have a perfectly clean house.

I became an expectant dad. Two days after taking Phoenix in, on January third we found out that April was pregnant and for the next nine months the mess was yet to come. As Sofia grew in April’s womb I tried to keep the house clean, but it was a battle I couldn’t win. I could either clean all the time or spend time with April. This became a big issue that I took to my therapist. He challenged me to be okay with not cleaning. I felt like if I could clean the house for April, I was showing my worth to her. She told me she needed me to be there with her. The house has been much messier since then.

Through the 2020-21 school year I became an online teacher and it was a mess. Not because I taught from my home through zoom, much of the time in my pjs. Not because I had to figure out new ways to connect with my students, which I think I was successful at doing. I loved being home with my dogs and my students loved seeing them. But teaching through a platform I was never trained to use and being evaluated by my administration (who had never taught on zoom either) as if I were teaching in the classroom was stressful. But as soon as I started giving myself grace and embraced the mess of teaching in a way I’d never taught before, I found joy in my job.

I started therapy and I became okay with my feelings, even the anxious ones. Therapy gave me a way to talk through all my feelings. The best part of going to a therapist is being told it is okay to feel what I am feeling. The worst part is when I go to the therapist it seems like I have to deal with the things in my life which means things have gotten a little messy.

God challenged me to go wild I became a backpacker again. In preparing for the trip I became a runner again (I had taken more than a year off of running). I took Gryffin on a backpacking trip that took me out of my comfort zone and into a swarm of mosquitoes. The trip was messy. That’s what happens when you have a group of guys with different goals and then you add in bad weather. But this mess was so good to be in because it was a situation that I couldn’t control. The mess of the trip made me trust God because I can’t control the weather or the mosquitos.

My water bill went up as I became a gardener. Spending more on water was worth it though. In 2020 April and I started a garden and so we decided 2021 we would try it again. Maybe it was because of all the rain we received this spring or maybe it’s because I have a green thumb, but our garden exploded. We had more tomatoes, cucumbers, jalapeños, and other garden varieties than we knew was to do with. Gardening is a mess especially when harvesting time happens right when your baby is due.

We still aren’t perfect pizza makers, but we’re having fun!

My pizza making improved as I became a canner. With all our produce from the garden, especially the tomatoes, April and I decided we wanted to can them so we could make pizza sauce year round. We were also able to make a delicious peach jalapeño jam because we found out we had a peach tree in our back yard. Canning was a fun learning experience alongside plenty of mold and broken glass. We also ruined several pizzas, to the point of tears as we figured out our Ooni Pizza Oven.

I was reminded how much I love working with kids as I became an in person teacher again. In August I went back into the building to teach for three weeks before April gave birth. This was a true mess as my long term sub was taken from me weeks before I was set to go on leave. But as soon as Sofia was born I had to let go of my classroom and know that even if it got a little messy for my students, it would be okay. After my two month paternity leave, my class was a mess, several students had stopped coming to class or had let their grades slip, but time with my family was worth that mess.

Finally, I became a dad! Sofia was born on August 26th. The coolest moment of my year was seeing her enter our world. Since then, being a dad has been filled with laughter and sleepless nights. I am not sure why I feel like things need to be perfect. My desire for perfection has brought on anxiety, but when I am okay with the mess around me I see how God is in control and I am able to relax in his hands.

Becoming Okay With Disappointments During The Holidays

December 14, 2021Brendan Scott

It’s the hope that kills you. Cliché right? No, I am not an English football fan, unless you count the Richmond Greyhounds, the team coached by Ted Lasso (Probably my favorite show right now and my favorite episode might be the Christmas episode that I watched this past August and yes it did get me into the Christmas spirit three months early), but I do agree with the sentiment. Hope can kill, especially if you place that hope in the wrong things. That is why I am learning to become okay with disappointments during the holidays because my hope is not in a perfect tree.

No, I am not giving up all hope and becoming a Scrooge for the season. On a side note, how come being a scrooge is a bad thing, since Ebanizer Scrooge turns his life around and becomes a man we should all model our lives after. A Christmas Carol, if I can continue this little aside, makes it clear that Christmas is not about what we buy, but about how we love our fellow man. At the end of the classic novel, Scrooge has a change of heart and realizes he must love those around him which leads him to buying the prized turkey (is it a goose? I think so.) for the Cratchet family. Christ calls us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. But even the message behind A Christmas Carol might leave us disappointed and feeling hopeless. When we love and expect love in return only to be shunned, that is disappointing, but true hope can still remain.

Hope can bring us joy when we let go of our expectations, live in the moment, and let Christ into our season. Expectations are key to the Christmas season. When we place our expectations in the wrong things we can easily become disappointed. From Thanksgiving to Christmas I have expectations of a magical season. I want to experience joy. I want to eat quite a bit and not gain weight. I want to feel that sense of wonder only an early morning sitting in quiet near the Christmas tree can bring. But this year we had to buy a second Christmas tree because Phoenix, our cuddle king of a pup, chewed up our first one. Maybe this is why Scrooge, at the start of the story, is so jaded toward Christmas, someone chewed up his expectations of beauty at Christmas, so his flame of hope died out and all wonder left with it.

Even expecting wonder can bring on disappointment. Just go and watch National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, its streaming on HBO Max if you don’t have the blu-ray like I do. Clark Griswald expects to provide wonder for his entire family. He has always dreamed of having the house with the most lights and when the lights just won’t work he is so disappointed he punches his fake Santa Claus. The entire movie is packed full of hilarious examples of how Christmas expectations can be turned into disappointments. But it is okay to experience disappointments at Christmas, because if our true hope is in Christ we can know that the dark days will be redeemed. His love is coming to rescue us all, even the Clark Griswalds of the world.

I can relate to Clark Griswald and Scrooge because I have felt disappointed during the Christmas season. I remember wanting a race track for Christmas, only for it to come without the full track. We went back to the store after the Christmas season was over only to be told they didn’t have the replacement part. I never got to play with that toy. Even this holiday season has already had its diapointments. I wasn’t able to sleep the night before Thanksgiving because I had an anxiety attack and so I spent the entire day tired, anxious, and disappointed. I know other disappointments will come this season. Maybe I’ll get sick and have to Zoom in with my family for Christmas morning (I’ve had to do this before when I lived in Guatemala and it was not quite the same). No, I don’t want gifts that are broken and no I don’t really want to be separated from my family, but being okay with disappointments is more about where I am placing my expectations.

Through the holidays, especially leading up to Christmas, advent is practiced throughout Christianity. Advent means to wait, to hope. Typically in the church this is observed by lighting four different candles, the first one being the representation of hope and the last one being the Christ candle. If we light our hope candle and place it in any other hands than the hands of Christ, our expectations are not going to be be met and our hope will leave us disappointed.

They are anxiously waiting for Santa to come

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow penned the beautiful poem Christmas Bells (click the link for the full poem) about disappointment at Christmas. Here are the last two stanzas. Notice how God brings beauty to Wadsworth Longfellow in the midst of his despair. It is beauty that can bring us back to the hope that Christ has for us.

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men.”

So in Advent we wait with a hope that leads to Christ. His love for me is what allows me to feel disappointment at Christmas because I know he is coming back to redeem the wrongs and bring true peace to our world. Through the season I know I will have days that are so lacking in wonder that it hardly feels like Christmas at all, but in the end even if Christmas Day doesn’t go as planned I can remember that I am loved. That Christ came as a baby, lived in our wonderful and disappointing world, and still chose to sacrifice himself for me. That is where the magic of this season resides.

So this holiday season I am going to be okay if I am disappointed because my hope is in Christ and that is a hope that will never kill me.

All she wants for Christmas is a red rider BB gun.

Can Christmas Carols Save Our Hope For Christmas?

December 22, 2020Brendan Scott

The bells will be ringing, but will this year be a Christmas we all have the blues? Two nights ago my throat started to feel a little sore. Any other year I am not sure I would even register this annoying sensation, but not with Covid still decimating December. My hope of a happy Christmas seemed to be crashing all around me. I leaned over to April and told her my fears of having to spend Christmas alone, quarantined from my family. Now, as I write this, I am fine, but the fear of missing out on family time was real. I know missing family time is the reality that many people are facing. Families are stuck at home, separated from loved ones. Hope seems to be in short supply.

A quarantine Christmas comes at the end of a not so tender year. We’ve been torn apart Chaos and closed cafes have lead to hate. Hate is strong and it is telling us to give in to despair. Yet, Christmas time is coming! This advent season many churches lit their hope candles, but I am sure to many the candle’s flame seems to be flickering out. However, God is stronger than hate and he is still working.

I know that God is stronger than hate because of Christmas music. You know, jingle bells, deck them halls, and all that stuff. There is just so much joy and hope in the songs we listen to once a year. This fact hit me about ten years ago when I started enjoying Christmas music. I think it was the Blue Grass Christmas station on pandora (I can’t remember for sure, but I wrote about it here and I even included a list of my favorite songs), it just makes me dance, and John Gorka’s “I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day,” which is the Christmas Carol of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem Christmas Bells.

In 1861 Henry Wadsworth Longfellow lost his wife to a tragic fire. Then his son died while fighting for the Union in the Civil War. He sunk in despair and was stung when he heard the bells on Christmas Day. I am sure he wanted God to tell him why he had lost his wife and son and why our nation was at war. So many people were dying and I am sure his world felt out of control, maybe a little like how our world feels. Yet, he did not end in despair.

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
and wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime,
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men.”

If he can still find hope when all seems lost, so can we. In Longfellow’s isolation and pain, God showed up. This poem is so relevant now. Our world is a mess. Hate is strong, but it cannot outshine God’s love for us. He is working in this mess and He will redeem it. The wrong shall fail, the right prevail because the best is yet to come. Our God turns gravestones into gardens.

God has promised to come and heal the brokenhearted and I know he will. God is a promise keeper and no matter my health, my hope will be in Him. I hope that as we wait for Christmas during the last week of advent, you feel God’s love and you know that the wrong shall fail, the right prevail, and God will bring peace on earth, good-will to men. The bells will be ringing the sound of hope again!

The Joy of 2017

December 31, 2017Brendan Scott

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As 2017 started, I had no idea how difficult this year was going to be, but I also had no idea how much joy it was going to hold as well. I began this last year just like many of you, making goals, but I also set the word of joy before me. One thing I have learned about joy is that if you want it, you have to fight for it. 2017 was no exception to this rule.

My job is a fulfilling one, but over the last year it has been a struggle to find joy as I teach. Many of my students live in severe poverty and their stories make my heart ache. One students’ parents struggle with alcohol and drug addictions so bad that the student had to flee in the night with all their possessions in black plastic trash bags. Another student shared a story of having to, at the age of 12, drive herself to school because her parents were each working one of their three jobs. Both of these students know the meaning of joy and their smiles have helped light up my classrooms. As they fight through the struggle that their lives are, they do not stop. So when my job became a struggle, I chose to be like them and to fight for joy.

Therefore in February, just as I was told my job was going to be cut, I flew out to California with April and proposed to her. She said yes! What joy!

Ring 2 b_w

The disappointing school year ended and even though my job had been retained, I no longer felt wanted where I work. But I entered the summer with a coming wedding and joy filled the air. But we had to fight for that joy. Just like many engagements, ours was filled with drama. It seemed to pop out of nowhere, but it was hurtful and forced us to make a last minute change to our wedding party. However, one person’s attempt to steal the joy of our upcoming wedding only made me love April more. She never stopped caring for that person and it is that grace April shows to the people in her life that truly amazes me.

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My wedding day was a true adventure. Not the type of adventure like my bachelor party where an 800 pound black bear showed up to end the party, but a crazy string of events that nearly caused me to miss my wedding. April spent all day with her family and I stayed with mine. I shared a calm morning with my niece and nephews, trying to stay present in the moment and not worry about my wedding. About an hour before my groomsmen were to show up so we could meet Becky Rice, our photographer, I was packing my car with all that I would need for after the wedding. As I walked out to my Civic with the last suitcase I was surprised to find that my car was locked. I grabbed my keys and pressed the unlock button, but nothing happened. It was as if my car was dead, unlock-able with all of my wedding items trapped on the inside.

I ran inside to grab my spare key to see if it would work, but no luck. Time started to slip away. I tried calling Honda to see if they could help. No luck! As I was on the phone, Luke and Taylor, two of my groomsmen showed up. I gave Luke my car keys and said, “See if you can fix it.” Just as I was telling the Honda agent, “No I can’t have it towed into your shop today because I am getting married,” Luke came back downstairs and told me he had done a miracle.

With my dad, Michael, and Taylor as witnesses, Luke had walked up to my car, said a prayer to Saint Michael the archangel and then punched my car. It immediately unlocked. Joy returned! We were free to leave for my wedding, but then I couldn’t find my wallet.

We scrambled to search all of the locations I had touched only to give up thirty minutes later. We were already late and our photography session with Becky was slipping away. I hopped into my car, figuring I would just go wallet-less only to jump back out and run inside to find it in the last place I looked. I had left it in the drawer with my spare car key.

My wedding was the most joyous day of the year if not of my life. I know that God will grant me days just as joy-filled and maybe even more so, but dang my wedding was fun. As I drove to my wedding after finding my wallet and having my car miraculously unlock so we were free to leave for Hudson Gardens, I choose to live in joy and not take on the stress that had attempted to ruin my afternoon. April and I danced, we were able to eat our food, but the best part was the joy in knowing that April said, “I do,” to me.

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My wedding ended and as we left the reception, surrounded by friends and family who love us dearly I knew I would have to hold onto this joy. I know that through sickness and health, through the good times and the bad times I will need to remember the light of that night and the love Christ has given me to be able to choose to love and serve April. I will choose to fight for joy because I too said I do.

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Also, it turns out I needed my wallet. April accidentally left hers in her car and we wouldn’t have been able to check into our hotel room without a credit card and a form of identification. I laughed with joy as we made our way to our room.

That was July and the rest of our year has had ups and downs, but through it all God has taught me about His joy. If you want it, you have to fight for it. If you fight for it, it will be like having Christmas with a three year old. It will light your dark night and shine light into your day with a smile that will last for days.

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April and I shared our second Christmas together and we were awoken, okay I had been up since 3:30 because I love Christmas too much to be able to sleep, by Addi, Linc, and Breck. Their cries of joy and delight were so much fun to share in. Breck couldn’t stop running around in excitement. Who knew 6:30 in the morning could be so much fun, even Treagan was all smiles.

What a blessing of joy it was to share Christmas with my entire family. 2017 has been a year of joy for me, but I hope my readers understand that it was also a very difficult year. But there is a joy in my life that even in the darkest of nights, I will continue to fight for and I hope you do to.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and peace and joy be with you!

Why I’m Still Celebrating Christmas

January 9, 2013Brendan Scott

I know that it is January 9th and that my parents have taken down all of the Christmas decorations in the house. They’ve piled up all the boxes in the basement and now the house looks drab, well as ordinary as a house looks after the most festive season. But I am still celebrating Christmas.

Christmas day is a special day in my house. We wake up early, open our gifts, eat a spectacular breakfast that the woman of the house prepare and then enjoy each other’s presence. Christmas in my house is a day for true joy and I love it so much that Christmas is no longer going to be a one day celebration in my life.

It’s not even just a 12 day celebration. Did you know that traditionally the twelve days of Christmas actually mean something more than just whatever that silly song suggests?

All I know is we passed through each day of the twelve days of Christmas. We’ve already celebrated day 6 of Christmas, where we received six geese a laying, which means we are to remember to give thanks to God because he is the creator and caretaker of our world.

I know that the Epiphany already happened. The magi have already given their gifts to baby Jesus, and that even the most Orthodox Christians are already putting Christmas behind them.

But I am not done celebrating!

No, this does not mean that I am still listing to Christmas music. I am not one of those people (Although my sister and her oldest kid are both as Christmas Crazy as it gets)!

I’m still celebrating Christmas because it’s the only way I can make sense of the world.

2012 was a hard year for many people. I have many friends who spent the year struggling with health issues. Two of my friends had a year from hell. They moved to Denver in early 2012 only to find out that their new apartment was infested with bedbugs. Then the wife found that that she was allergic to the bug spray, so they had to move out, breaking their lease. Their year got worse, and yet they weren’t alone.

Here in Denver, on July 20th, a madman entered a screening of “The Dark Knight Rises” and killed 12 people. That day, going to the movies lost their innocence. Later that year things would get worse. I remember going to bed on December 13th praying that God would keep all the people safe who were at the premier for the Hobbit, only to wake up to find out that another mad man had forced his way into a school in Newtown, Connecticut, killing innocent little kids and heroic teachers.

I’m still celebrating Christmas because Christ gives me hope. I cannot make sense of why these tragic events took place this last year. I do not know why my friends had such a hard year. I do not know why people would want to kill, especially innocent little first graders. All I know is that I can set out to be different. To love the people around me and treat everyone with respect.

Not everyone tries to treat people with love and respect. There seems to be plenty of hate in our world. We might never know why those two tragedies occurred, but I think what may have been wrong with the killers is a microcosm of what is wrong with the world. It’s a loss of love and hope. Instead of loving our neighbors, we’ve decided to live selfishly.

We have become a me first society and so when people need help, they are more often than not, pushed away, which makes for a sad and lonely world. I do not know why my friends had a year from hell, but I do know they experienced Christ’s love and provision throughout all of their struggles. They weren’t alone.

See, I’m still celebrating Christmas because I have decided to live differently. I don’t want my friends to feel alone. I’m going to live in hope and I’m going to try to share that hope with my friends.

I can have hope because God is my provider. He gave me, and the rest of this broken world, Jesus. So even when everything seems to be crumbling around me, I can have hope because Jesus “heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and calls them all by name. How great is our Lord! His power is absolute! His understanding is beyond comprehension.”

Christmas is not over because Christ is working in our lives. So even when things get rough this year, remember that God is our provider and that Jesus has come to heal your broken heart.

Today the Christmas tree has been tossed out into the back yard, waiting to be mulched, the boxes of Christmas decorations are piled up in the basement, but those seasonal reminders of Christs grace and God’s provision, do not have to fade away.

What if we all lived a little differently and celebrated Christ year round? Would we then start to see all that Christ is doing in our lives. Would we see Christ’s love during the joyful times as well as the sorrowful times?

Let’s find out together!

Join me this year in living differently, living completely engaged in all that God has for us. Living Spiritually.

Christmas Music: 12 Days of Horrible Christmas Music

December 13, 2012December 13, 2012Brendan Scott

What’s the worst Christmas song? The one you dread hearing every Christmas season?

Well, On the first day of Christmas my true love . . .

I don’t think I need to say any more. Maybe it’s cause I’ve never had a true love or maybe it’s because most Christmas music is just so old and over done, I’ve always hated Christmas music. I’m the complete opposite of my sisters, who could start listening to the stuff on December 26th. I just find it repetitive and, well, a little cheesy.

I do love Christmas, so don’t judge me a Grinch!

Typically I spend Christmas season as far away from the radio as possible. When I shop (something I’m not big on either) I try to rush in and out, just to avoid the bad music and the crowds. I know I’m not alone.

But, please don’t call me Scrooge just yet!

Christmas music typically grinds on my ear drums because it seems so sappy. Christmas is about so much more than Santa and Rudolf. It’s not about finding love under the mistletoe. (Who wants to kiss under a parasitic plant?)

Christmas is about giving love, being patient, and spending time with the family. Christmas is a joyful time. It’s about Jesus. How he came to live with us. He is a reason for hope and joy. So, it bugs me when the real reason for the season is trivialized.

Which seems to happen every December. All of a sudden the radios start playing Bing Crosby, and asking me to buy the right gift so I will feel happy. And before I know it, a season meant for joy has gotten me down. Johnny Marks and Bing Crosby’s songs just don’t speak to me. One’s too somber and the just rubs me the wrong way.

However, as hypocritical as it may sound, I love Christmas movies. Maybe it’s because they aren’t all up in your ears all the time, being super obnoxious. Singing things like “Have a Holly, Jolly, Christmas,” or “I’ll Be Home For Christmas.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love Rudolph, and one of my favorite Christmas memories is singing “Run, run, Rudolph” into the long telephone cord (it was my makeshift microphone), but Christmas isn’t a time to be somber, no matter what’s hapend during the year. It’s a time for real joy and so most Christmas music has always got me irked.

So, I typically get into the Christmas spirit by watching classic Christmas movies or drinking gallons of eggnog.

Until this year.

Just as Scrooge changed. Just as the Grinch’s heart grew. I underwent a transformation.

On December 4th I started liking . . . no, loving . . . Christmas Music. I’m not sure what happened, but I’ve been listening to it non-stop for over a week.

Maybe, like Scrooge and the Grinch my heart just needed a little push to grow.

My push was bluegrass Christmas Music. I’ll be honest, I still can’t take the Bing Crosby stuff, but the Pandora bluegrass Christmas station has really set me in a joyful mood for Christmas.

No, that does not mean love and romance, but peace and giving. Spending time with my family. Not worrying about how much I spend on presents, but who I am spending my presence with.

The bluegrass music I’ve been listening to isn’t shy about Christ being the reason for our celebrations. Maybe that’s the difference. Each song seems to bring the sounds of true joy, and I’ve needed that.

Here are a few of the Christmas Albums I’ve fallen in love with over the last week, enjoy:

WindHam HIll: Holliday Guitar Collection